Today I ate somewhere between 1000 to 1200 calories…what did i eat? we won’t discuss that. =P
Anyways I guess I’ll start today with my official challenge/plan or whatever it is i’m doing.
As for now-it’s the weekend…finally! And I have nothing to do until Tuesday so I would like to just submerge myself in thinspos and weight loss blogs to get super pumped while i sit in my bed and drink LOTS of water! :)
So…over the weekend I went to finish moving stuff into my apartment. Me and my bestie decided we were NOT going to eat out this weekend-because we always go out to eat, spend way too much money, and feel way too fat after. =P And sure enough we went out nearly every night-sometimes twice a day (lunch and dinner!) Shame on us! It was a set back-that’s for sure, but I now have that much more motivation. My other roommate used to be in the 200 lb range and recently lost weight. We weigh about the same now, but she carries it all in her ass and legs so you’d think she weighs more than me. She always has little comments to make about how she’s jealous of me and I’m so pretty and whatever…THERE’S MY MOTIVATION! Not to be better than her, but to show her-I can do this! Don’t brag about your weight loss and try to be smaller than me. It simply won’t happen. I’m better than you now-when we’re fat…and you better believe I will be better than you when I’m skinny. She’s the type to lecture about working out and eating right…and then you go to her car and find 136529562396530976534 fast food bags…she’s all talk, no action. I will be all action and show her how fit and sexy I can get. She’s going to be so jealous. (Now I know that’s not what it’s about, but it’s giving me motivation so I’m going with it.)
Why I want to succeed:
My mom (and my family in general) always make me feel like I’m never going to be good enough. My mom has had self esteem issues her whole like even though she looks like a fckn centerfold because my aunt was always so thin when they were growing up. She has given her poor self esteem to me and now I feel that I will never be good enough and never be truly comfortable with myself. Every time I go to my grandma’s house she always has some sort of rude comment for me-even though I know she doesn’t mean it. (Today for example-my mom and I were coming out to her house and we didn’t answer our phones when we were on our way and when we walk in she says “Oh I figured you guys went to eat or something, like you were in a restaurant and didn’t hear your phone-you always go out to eat so that’s what I figured.”) Okay-not even like that’s that bad, but it still made me uncomfortable-what? Like all I do it eat? I find myself becoming more and more distant with my family and I try to avoid them all together. My mom and I ended up staying for dinner at my grandparents house and I’m to the point where I don’t even feel comfortable eating in front of my family (except my mom because she knows how I feel and she tries to be supportive most of the time). I didn’t want to make a huge deal that I was counting calories, but they eventually found out what I was doing and then kept asking me questions about my weight and how much I want to lose, etc.
Another thing that bothers me is my cousin. She’s 5 years younger than me and thinks I’m the coolest but I actually am jealous of her. It used to be that I was the perfect one. The one that you got compared to. The greatest, smartest, prettiest, in the family, blah blah blah. And now after this massive weight gain I feel like I’ve been singled out and my family things I am a disgusting slob and will never change my ways and lose this weight. And now my cousin has taken that perfect spot away from me. Everyone always talks about how great of a singer she is and how pretty she is and how long her hair is and how thin she is-um hello?! I have the stage presents, I have long, pretty hair too, you all used to tell me I was pretty…wtf happened?
Another topic…I have a friend in Chicago. We went to high school together and I went to visit her recently. We’ve always been very similar (we have the same personality and outgoing thing going on) but when I’m with her I’m that fat loser friend that just doesn’t measure up. In pictures it’s like the Kardashians-she’s the beautiful petite one and I’m the amazon Khloe-even though I’m only 5’3” I look huge next to her small, 5’1” frame. (And for the record I don’t think there is anything wrong with Khloe Kardashian’s size.) But anyways, what really bothers me is that there is this boy that she was going to school with-we all hung out when I came to visit and I asked her about him. (She was taken at the time so I didn’t feel like there was a chance of her taking him.) He and I didn’t really talk much when we met but we’ve been talking online a lot and all of a sudden-nothing. I haven’t heard from him and I keep seeing facebook statuses and pictures that they are always hanging out and going places. I’m pretty sure she has taken him from me…and as for her boyfriend back home-I have no idea what happened to him but I’m assuming he’s history. I feel so shitty about my body as it is but then to take the perfect guy away from me just because you can? That’s low. And what’s really stupid is that I only say he’s the perfect guy because he’s perfect in my mind. I don’t know him that well but he’s a nice dream. A dream that her and her gorgeous body have stolen from me. :(
I am my own worst enemy. I can try and blame these people for making me this way and making me feel bad about myself, but at the end of the day I am the one who makes poor choices and I am the one who gained 50 lbs. They didn’t make me do it. I don’t like what I see when I look in the mirror but instead of changing it, I stay the same. I keep making the same mistakes over and over. I don’t have any self control or will power whatsoever.
Sorry for this super long rant-nobody will probably read it anyways.
Maybe I’ll just go to bed now-today has been horrible and I feel so fat and disgusting…(but hey I feel like that everyday.)
Goodnight.
I have nothing better to do on a Friday night than to create thinspo videos.
I’m starting off with a Britney Spears one but if anyone has someone they want to see in a video just let me know! Send it to my ask. I’ll be making videos all night and I’m going to try to appeal to all different types out there-healthy, curvy, ana, anything. :)
Okay-so about a year ago I was snooping around online looking for a Britney Spears-ish workout. Apparently this is her exact workout routine she followed when she was in her “prime” (I’m guessing the early 2000’s). I love it…but it takes me forever because I’m so out of shape, but after you accomplish it you feel great!
I’m going to start doing this again-I just wish I still had my treadmill.
90 minutes/4x a week
Warm up: 10 minutes on cardiovascular machine (treadmill, stationary bike, etc) at a medium pace.
Abs: 50 crunches, 50 bicycle twists, 50 hip raises
Strength Circuit: Use weights to work on arms, chest, back, and lower body. Bicep curls, tricep kickbacks, and fly exercises and presses.
Abs: 50 crunches, 50 bicycle twists, 50 hip raises
Strength Circuit: Use weights to work on arms, chest, back, and lower body. Bicep curls, tricep kickbacks, and fly exercises and presses.
Abs: 50 crunches, 50 bicycle twists, 50 hip raises
Strength Circuit: Use weights to work on arms, chest, back, and lower body. Bicep curls, tricep kickbacks, and fly exercises and presses.
Abs: 50 crunches, 50 bicycle twists, 50 hip raises
Back to Cardio & Abs: 30 minutes of jogging on treadmill or elliptical machine
Abs: 150 crunches, 150 bicycle twists, 150 hip raises (Do each 3 times)
Yup that’s a total of 1950 ab exercises…how else do you think Britney looked so hot?!?!?!
Last but not least…STRETCH! And maybe take a yoga or pilates class on one of your off days.
And there you have it: Britney’s Insane Workout! :)
I’m a little bit of a Britney Spears super fan…
Aside from that she’s a perfect thinspo/fitspo for me! I’ve been a dancer for almost 15 years and no matter how hard I try-my calves aren’t going anywhere! I think she has an amazing body! In her prime she was tiny and had great abs but still had fit dancer legs (not ballerina sticks) haha. I know that’s not an option for me so I might as well look to someone realistic. :)
i <3 britney!
If I made a new Britney Spears thinspo video
would you guys watch it?
LIKE IF YOU WOULD! :D
if i had a body like this…i would get myself into so much trouble…
(maybe i’m better off being fat-otherwise i might just be a whore!)
hahahaha!
If you want a dancer’s body that looks like Jessica Alba or Britney Spears…
Today went really well.
It was my first official day back on the counting calories thing.
I ate about 900 calories all day and burned about 750 at dance.
My total for the day is around 150 (147 to be exact) and I am pretty proud of myself. I feel like I ate a lot of good/healthy things too. :)
Tomorrow I will most likely sleep through breakfast…so I will get chinese chicken and broccoli for lunch. (It’s not breaded chicken and I love the broccoli and I get steamed rice…how bad could it be? We’ll see how that goes tomorrow-it’s just a thought. haha.)
Thanks to all my followers-I’ve doubled my # of followers today! Stay strong/stay healthy you guys! You can do this! We will be sexy bitches in no time!
